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49 dumbest movie moments
Thursday, January 4, 2007
1. POINT BREAK (1991)
Compromised FBI agent, Keanu Reeves, is forced to help in escape of robber, Patrick Swayze. Patrick jumps out of plane with last parachute… And then… Incredible Keanu jumps out too, without parachute and manages to catch bandit in the air. Now we have incredible air ballet and successful landing!!? Compared to this, 007 stunts look like BBC documentary.

2. ENIGMA (2001)
Code breaker, scientist Scott and his assistant in form of Kate Winslet, grab a part of German code machine, Enigma. But British Intelligence follows them closely… And then… We have slowest and most boring car chase in history of movies. 15 kph? They would go faster with tractors.

3. ADAPTATION. (2002)
Writer Charlie Kaufman is imprisoned in a swamp by John Laroche and Susan Orlean, subject and author of his adaptation “The Orchid Thief”. Laroche points the gun… And then… Alligator attacks Laroche and ends a good movie with most amazing trick. Well, that is the point. But it is also very stupid.

4. HOOK (1991)
You got to admit, pretty good beginning of a movie. Middle-aged Peter Pan returns to Neverland… And then… We have Lost Boys in a form of caricaturization of British fashion scene from, maybe 1982. Costume makers and all others responsible for that, should be punished, accordingly.

Stallone in a pretty good story, on a very unusual place. Everything is interesting, there is suspense and it is all good… And then… He impales one of the bad guys on a stalactite. Yes, stalactite. Well, now he tried everything (literally).

Cameron Diaz and her jubilant friends Christina Applegate and Selma Blair, are in a restaurant and talk about… well mostly they talk about male genitalia. And then… “You're too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here, too big to fit in here” sings Diaz, on a melody of “I’m too sexy” by Right Said Fred. Soon everyone from restaurant jump up and start to sing, what it looks like an ode to penis. Well now…

7. xXx (2002)
Modern version of 007, Vin Diesel is in bad situation. While he exits restaurant in Prague a hidden sniper shoots at him. And then… Extreme sports solution, tray instead of snowboard. There, there Vin…

Great begining of Victor Salva movie. Two kids are harassed by a mysterious man with a hat that drives a black van. And then… Salva shows what he thinks of movie audience, he thinks they have amnesia. Man with the hat was first run over by car, revived and then flys to the air as a giant bat. And he doesn’t explain that in part two. Stupid.

9. SIGNS (2002)
Master of suspense, M. Night Shyamalan carefully keeps tension up as family of Mel Gibson is facing alien threat. And then… Mel discovers that aliens can be killed by… a glass of water? Which means that those genius aliens, with advanced civilization, decided to colonize planet that is 2/3 under water. And what would happen when it starts to rain?

10. THE POSTMAN (1997)
Things are not looking good for Costner’s post-apocalyptic career as a postman. Psychotic Will Patton is about to shoot him. And then… Kevin calms situation down with Shakespeare citation: “Now is the winter of our discontent.” “You are not bad.” - says crying Patton. Kevin lives. Corollary: Stupid survived apocalypse.

11. PEARL HARBOR (2001)
After Tokyo Run, Josh Hartnett’s character is mortally wounded. Ben Affleck is carrying him. And then… Conversation gets interesting because they both find out that they had sex with Kate Beckinsale. Ben: “You’ll be a father!” Josh: “No, you will.” And then he dies.

12. LOGAN'S RUN (1976)
At the end of Michael Anderson’s ode to euthanasia, Jenny Agutter and Michael York manage to successfully escape. And then… We have appearance of unnecessary robot-killer transformed into fish market seller… “Fish, planktons, proteins from the sea…” What is the threshold for stupidity?

Alien hybrid clone, Ripley is created as a part of experiment in attempt to control xenomorphs. As usual, everything goes bad and Ripley tries to escape from spaceship that is full of Aliens, with help of android (Winona Ryder). And then… Ripley screams: „It’s the Queen, she is in pain!” Queen is ready to give birth to even scarier specie… But, instead of horror, there comes a monster covered with white chocolate and tongue of Jamie Oliver. Oh, endless space, oh, endless stupidity.

14. TITANIC (1997)
Gigantic ship collides with iceberg. Water is rushing in, construction is screeching and collapsing and everybody panics… And then… Billy Zane refuses to embark on one of the life boats. He goes back for revenge against his fiancée (Winslet) and her lover (Leo). He shoots frenetically and misses every time. Gun site is not adjusted, that must be it.

15. THE 13th WARRIOR (1999)
Antonio Banderas sits by the fire with a group of Vikings. Problem: Arabs do not speak Viking language, really. And then… After few remarks, Banderas speaks it fluently. “How did you learn our language?” asks one of the Vikings. “I listened” answers Banderas. Come on now Antonio!

Kirk and co. need to infiltrate into alien base, surrounded by guards. And then… Kirk sends Uhura as a sexy decoy. She dances for guards. Their attention is all on her. But she is 56 years old! And you can see that. Sickos!

17. DEMONS (1985)
Dario Argento, very cautious screenplay writer, had a bad moment. Imprisoned in a movie theater, no way out, demons are coming… And then … Our heroes find parked bike in lobby. They break through the ceiling with it?! Just like that. Super.

18. JAWS 2 (1978)
Group of kids cruises around when sinister fin shows up. Boat falls apart, kids end up in water. Shark begins her feast. And then… Out of nowhere comes a helicopter and it tries to save children from trouble. It lands on water, but shark gets sudden urge for metal. Helicopter, motor, rotor and everything else is dragged deep in water. Shark is unstoppable now. She could take on Titanic.

19. CONTACT (1997)
After months of working, Jodie Foster finally launches into space toward distant location. Whole world holds its breath. Audience in the theater also. And then… Aliens show up in form of her dead father. On a beach. He talks about humans as interesting species, and then returns her home. Illogical, stupid and boring. Brilliant!

20. LEGAL EAGLES (1986)
Daryl Hannah as Chelsea, the painter, is one crazed up misses, traumatized by death of her father in a fire. She calls Robert Redford, lawyer Tom Logan, into her apartment. And then… It turns out that Hannah is performance artist obsessed with fire. Or at least director Ivan Reitman has certain problems with matches or fire.

21. DEMON SEED (1977)
Super computer Proteus hunts for the most part of the movie, molests and in the end rapes captive Julie Christie. Reason? Proteus wants to create his heir. And then… Any suspense left is for a birth of a thing that looks like a reject from TV show Buck Rogers.

Kid is trapped in a corner by dangerous velociraptor, same one that tore apart a lot of bad guys with guns. And then… Little kid runs, somersaults and hits raptor in snout, using, check this… power of gymnastics. It is good to pay attention in gym class. Healthy body/Healthy spirit.

23. THE ABYSS (1989)
Everything was going as it was supposed to. Harsh environment, high pressure madness, hallucination… Ed Harris makes contact with Medusa-like aliens. One problem: he can’t go back to surface. And then… Aliens decide to move their pink Frisbee, 15 km long and bring Ed to surface. So deep! You can almost lose your consciousness.

24. SPEED (1994)
Jan De Bont’s experience of Wages of Fear. Sandra and Keanu must not let the speed drop below 50 mph. Construction on road ahead. Unfinished bridge. What to do? And then… Sandra pushes pedal to the metal and bus flys through the air like paper kite. Lands like an eagle. Audience is thrilled and screams, confused with what they see. It’s airbus. Super!

Our heroes, Three musketeers, or four or I don’t know how many, led by Leo DiCaprio, rush into hail of bullets, real barrage. And then… When the smoke clears, they are all alive! Honor of France is saved and future generations of manufacturers will have someone to call their products by. Vive le stupid!

26. CAPE FEAR (1991)
Scorsese’s Raging Bull, dear De Niro, as Max Cady. Crazy as Looney Toons, rapes beats and assaults girls… Family of Nick Nolte tries to run away to safety. De Niro follows them. And then… Family tries to kill him. Lighter fuel? No. Drowning? No. Tied with cuffs to a sinking boat? No. Indestructible. Unstoppable. Simply amazing.

27. GODZILLA (1998)
Straight from the deep, 20 stories high… or 10… Sometimes even 50, actually it depends. Changeable size is not that important, it’s important that Godzilla is big. When it disappears, we think it died. And then… Godzilla comes from nowhere, manages to clear out New York’s population in 10 minutes, and then it chases a yellow cab. Corollary: watch out when you call a cab!

Ewan McGreggor goes out for a drink to a bar with his victim, bosses daughter, Cameron Diaz. It’s karaoke night. Are you scared yet? And then… McGreggor goes to the stage and starts to sing “Beyond the sea”. Cameron joins him with her angelic voice. Someone said it: You really need fantastic vocal talent. Oh, dear!

On a luxurious intergalactic spaceship-hotel, a concert is about to start. Bruce Willis is complaining. And then… Bluish alien, opera singer, starts her act with a help of a band that looks like a bunch of Chic band fans. There is sound in this movie. So Besson intervenes and dog-like alien kills diva. Cosmic justice.

30. DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002)
Another proof that, when we come to dumb things, 007 lead the way. Trapped in his vehicle, Bond is hanging of a glacier that would soon collapse. And then… Bond uses parachute from a car to glide to safety, with cheap special effects. Fact that this scene is even dumber than the one with invisible car says it all.

31. DRACULA (1992)
Imprisoned in Dracula’s castle, Keanu Reeves is attacked by three vampire witches. They want sex, they want his blood… And then… All the tension disappears when Keanu puts his patented expression from Bill and Ted. For some reason he does that until the end of the movie.

Earth, 2024. Ex-immortal, Christopher Lambert, is an old guy and Earth is surrounded by a shield that replaces ozone layer. And then… We go to planet Zeist, 500 years to the past, to the time when Lambert and Connery were exiled… But wasn’t Lambert Scottish Highlander by birth, and Connery 2000 year old Egyptian? Adequately stupid beginning of one of the worst sequels ever.

Gorgeous blond Heather Graham has a problem with a purse snatcher. Her boyfriend, Joseph Fiennes goes after him to return stolen thing. And then… He catches the thief, knocks him down and hits him until he makes bloody mess out of his face. Graham runs to him and hugs her blood covered boyfriend. Obviously psychotic, Fiennes asks her to marry him. She agrees. Unbelievable!

Everything is happening on forest moon of Endor. Rebels are fighting against Imperial Walkers with a help of stupid space bears, Ewoks. And then… Laser beam hits one of the Ewoks. His partner, realizing that bear is gone, starts to cry. All explosions, lasers and screeching metal stop for this? Who cares? No one.

35. LOST IN SPACE (1998)
Galactic Robinson’s are lost on a distant planet. They meet older version of scientist Will Robinson, and they realize that they are lost in time too. OK, we can accept that. And then… Logic, common sense and quality are being sucked in a Black hole, when Gary Oldman gets replaced by a very stupid monster that is created to look like a stupid monster. Lobotomy for screenplay writer, Akiva Goldsman.

36. SUPERMAN III (1983)
Evil rich guy, Robert Vaughn, builds a chute on a roof of skyscraper. Halooo? His helper, Richard Pryor, skiing merrily on it with a table cloth around his neck. And then… Normally, he falls of a building, down several floors, bounces with his skis of a sloped roof and slowly and perfectly manages to land down. By some miracle, his bones didn’t turn to dust by a force of impact. UH!

37. SHOWGIRLS (1995)
There are so many things in this movie that will make wonder. Kyle MacLachlan as Hugh Hefner wannabe or Elizabeth Berkley in her too bimbo performance. Paul Verhoeven’s fooling around in Vegas, gets special touch when screenplay writer, Joe Eszterhas, realizes that movie has too much sex and no chimpanzees. And then… On a command – monkeys, comes a horde of chimpanzees. Who wanted to see this? Obviously Paul Verhoeven. Everyone, let’s pray for him.

38. LIFE OF BRIAN (1979)
Life of Brian has usual Monty Python humor. While Brian was escaping from Roman soldiers, he comes to top of the tower. And then… Extra from some of Terry Gilliam’s projects, in a shape of spaceship, grabs Brian, quickly drives him through galaxy and returns him to place where he picked him up. Too much even when it comes from Terry Gilliam.

Heroic astronaut Marky Mark, runs away with chimpanzee Helen Bonham Carter. Dangerous ape general, Tim Roth, goes after them. And then… Bored screenplay writer and director Tim Burton, gives us funny part of the story. Scenes from house life of monkeys. They wear wigs, have sex… Charlton Heston wouldn’t put up with this nonsense.

Sci-Fi Abbott and Costello, Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith, fly into giant alien ship, trying to save human race from extinction. And then… Jeff uploads virus from his laptop into alien computer system. Naturally, this works. Our civilization is saved because aliens don’t have firewalls and anti-virus protection. Of course they don’t, because they are stupid.

41. ESCAPE FROM L.A. (1996)
Snake Plissken returns. Snake meets Peter Fonda in stupid post apocalyptic Los Angeles. And then… Fascinated by computer graphic, John Carpenter allows himself interesting excess. Old surfer, Fonda, provokes Snake to a surfing… on a wave of lava. Prince of Darkness was imprisoned in something that they call lava lamp. Well, now he is free.

42. END OF DAYS (1999)
Judgment day is coming. Devil incarnation is destroying New York. Arnie prepares for final showdown. And then… amazing discovery by Father Kovak, that if you look at 1999 upside down, you get 666 (1 is extra). It’s good to see that years of studying theology were not thrown away.

Great moment for Neo: he’s about to blow up Matrix. He comes through every obstacle in his way, only needs to go through the door to fulfill prophecy. And then… He meets this small man that introduces himself as an Architect. Architect talks for 10 minutes about things that would be spoken by someone on LSD. He uses words like ergo and concordant. Audience murmurs: stupid anti-climax. Whatever!

Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala sneak through robot factory. Suddenly they ran into C3PO and R2D2. And then… Tiny robot ejects wings, fires his rocket engines and fly in the air. Whistle that you hear is not from those engines but from thousands of movie fans. Why didn’t he use these, obviously useful accessories, in future events?

After lot of trouble, amnesiac Matt Damon comes to contents of his safe in a Swiss bank. And then… He finds lots of passports, different banknotes and a gun. But the dull “who am I” expression seems to stay. For a long time.
Whole rows in a theater yell: You are secret agent you idiot, stupid…

You can almost smell the desperation. Figuring out that his movie about 5 Blair Witch fans is not scary at all, director Joe Berlinger moves his crew to a warehouse, where they discuss about lots of things. And then... special effects. With a lot of broken glass, in a style of Renny Harlin, comes an owl.
Audience jumps from their seats and rushes to exit.

47. X-MEN (2000)
Big moment for Storm. She’s ready to grab annoying Toad. Unleashing full dose of her powers, she asks him: “Do you know what happens to a frog when it’s struck by a lightning?” Then we have the answer: “Same as to everything else.”
Audience is trying to figure out how many monkeys were disturbing writer while he was making this dialog.

48. BEACH (2000)
Leonardo DiCaprio arrives to famous island paradise. Only problem is that small Utopian hippie commune, that he finds there, soon starts to fall apart, and Leo falls into Vietnamese fantasy in a jungle. And then… In a bizarre twist, innovative director Danny Boyle, puts our hero in a video game. He runs through the jungle with computer animated tigers and spiders. If this movie had any atmosphere, that ruined it. Really!

Typical bar in Alaska. New age trapper Steven Seagal beats guy in his version of Red Hands. And then... Steven suddenly goes into philosophical mood “What is the nature of a man?” Drunken man turns into sobbing pudding. Bar gives a standing ovation, and in the theater, amazed audience picks their jaws from the floor.

posted by Miki @ 17:30  
  • At January 04, 2007 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My favorites are On Deadly Ground and Signs. Philosophy of Steven, chapter VI.

  • At January 05, 2007 10:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You're correct on everything except Life of Brian - the spaceship sequence is one of the most hilarious Python bits ever.

  • At January 05, 2007 10:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    some i totally agree with some show a total lack of comprehension of what the film maker was saying. should have kept the list to top 20 or top 10 so you wouldn't have to strain so much to fill the list

  • At January 05, 2007 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what - now Wild Wild West?

  • At January 05, 2007 10:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am not quite sure what is wwrong with a non-marksman missing his intended target with a handgun. Perhaos you have seen one too many movies where people always DO hit what they are shooting at to realize that as depicted in Titanic was MUCH more realistic.

  • At January 05, 2007 10:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Snake and Peter Fonda were surfing on WATER. Not lava. I am not sure what made you think it was lava. The concept was that the earthquakes caused tidal waves to come up the LA River regularly.

    Just so you know, water is not blue and does not look EXACTLY like water.

  • At January 05, 2007 5:01 PM, Blogger Atli said…

    Two things are missing -

    a) The giant spider of Wild WIld West
    b) The ringing Tyrannosaurus Rex phone of Jurassic Park III.

    No, make that the whole movie of JPIII.

  • At January 05, 2007 5:29 PM, Blogger Dogdust said…

    The War of the World ...every ridiculous Cruise saturated moment.

  • At January 05, 2007 6:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    How about "The Day After Tomorrow" - Dennis Quaid walking - I repeat - WALKING from DC to New York in order to save his son? Oh yeah - it's also during the next ice age. Stupid.

  • At January 05, 2007 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you had understood Adaptation you would have appreciated the alligator scene.

  • At January 05, 2007 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Missing this one: Titanic, at the end: Di Caprio is dying, frozen. But he doesn't mind, since he's in love. He tells the girl he met a few hours earlier that he is really glad he took that trip...

  • At January 05, 2007 10:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    King Kong remake. How many insects can they possibly make lifesize with a thrist for humans? And the scene where the giant grasshoppers (?) are attacking and the young guy who has never handled a rifle shoots them all off without hitting his human buddy?!?! I believed the big ape more than that!

  • At January 05, 2007 10:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude, the fact that the man with a hat in Jeepers Creepers could survive being run over and then fly with bat wings was exactly the point -- he wasn't human.

    Your list doesn't read so much as stupid movie moments, more like, stupid movie viewer who didn't bother to pay attention before getting snarky moments.

    And your writing style is awful.

    Other than that, I liked it.

  • At January 05, 2007 10:16 PM, Blogger rea said…

    How could the scene from 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' at the end in the rain when she says "Oh - is it raining? I hadn't noticed." NOT have made this list??? It almost ruined the entire movie.

  • At January 05, 2007 10:26 PM, Anonymous Grognard said…

    I wanted to see the War of the Worlds prequel: Funding Request For WotW!

    Martian Senator: General Grack, you want to do what?
    General Grack: Invade the Earth.
    Senator: But not now, some thousand years from now.
    Gack: Exactly, when they aren't expecting us!
    Senator: They don't expect us now.
    Gack: True, but our Walkers aren't there yet.
    Senator: How do you plan to put our Walkers on Earth?
    Gack: We'll fly them there, bury them, and install transport receivers to send the crews when we're ready!
    Senator: As long as we're there already, instead of burying the Walkers why not conquer Earth?
    Gack: Because there aren't enough humans yet.
    Senator: Why do we want more humans?
    Gack: TO EAT!
    Senator: Are you even sure we can eat humans without getting poisoned?
    Gack: I'm only a soldier, not a scientist. We'll just have to risk it.

  • At January 05, 2007 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What about in "Scarface" when Al Pacino dunks his nose into a huge amount of cocaine on his desk?

  • At January 05, 2007 10:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The aliens in Signs didn't come to colonize, it was a raid for food. Maybe this person should actually pay attention to the movies before making fun of them.

  • At January 05, 2007 11:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What, no Pretty Woman? When street walker Julia spends a week doing Gere for money, then gets REALLY offended when he offers to get her an apartment in NY.

  • At January 05, 2007 11:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Regarding Titanic, the truly dumbest thing was the last bit where she drops the gem into the ocean. Picture this: young, sheltered formerly rich girl survives Titanic sinking and lands in New York without family or friends or job skills of any kind but she does carry an incredibly valuable gem. And yet somehow she goes on to lead a rich and adventurous life independently, and without the capital she could have raised by selling the damn thing! What makes this the dumbest part for me is that the return of the gem to the sea is supposed to be the climactic moment of symbolic closure--much more critical to the plot yet unbelievable than the shooting scene (which, I agree, is thoroughly stupid in its own way and contrary to the selfish character played by Zane).

  • At January 05, 2007 11:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    How on earth can the movie "Armageddon" be completely missing from this list? This should top the charts at #1 as the most ridiculous movie ever made - start to finish...

  • At January 05, 2007 11:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This list is exceptional in that it contains the poorest examples and the poorest writing that I've seen in recent history. I am literally never moved to write comments for these things, but for this garbage I cannot resist.

  • At January 05, 2007 11:59 PM, Anonymous Tara said…

    About Pearl Harbor: I was not a huge fan of the movie, but you didn't understand what was going on in the scene you mentioned. They did not "discover" that they'd both had sex w/ Kate Beckinsale while Hartnett was dying. They had both been in love with the same woman--Affleck first and Hartnett second. She got pregnant by Hartnett and told Affleck. Hartnett had been deployed already and didn't know. When Affleck realized Hartnett was dying, he told Hartnett that he was going to be a father, hoping that would give him more motivation to fight to live. When Hartnett said, "No--you are," he was acknowledging that he wouldn't make it, and asking Affleck to step in, knowing that Affleck still loved her. And that's exactly what happened. Beckinsale and Affleck married and named Hartnett's son after him.
    P.S. Did you watch the whole movie?? They didn't even discuss sex in the scene you're taking about.

  • At January 06, 2007 12:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    In Green Berets, at the end of the movie John Wayne watched the sun set on the western shore of Viet Nam (the shore is actually on the east coast).

  • At January 06, 2007 1:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The fact that Contact is on this list and Armageddon isn't shows that some people shouldn't make lists at all.

    That scene in Contact is perfectly logical.

    Now, if you want the mother of all stupid scenes, here's one from Armageddon (although, seriously, you could pick a random scene from that movie and it would be at home on any top 10 dumb-scene-list):

    In the most expensive and by far the most important mission in the history of mankind, the world's leading bomb expert designs a nuclear device which is supposed to save life on earth from extinction.
    So, naturally, when he's asked to disable the bomb, he of course has to go through the "do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?" scenario, complete with a LED countdown.
    Think about this for a moment. He's the world's leading bomb expert. He designed the weapon. He's specifically on this mission because of THAT bomb, which is his responsibility. And they expect us to believe he A) can't disable it without cutting wires and B) doesn't know which wire to cut.
    It is so far beyond ludicrous, there should be a new word invented to describe the stupidity of that scene.

  • At January 06, 2007 1:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The writer doesn't pay attention to a movie and then criticizes what he doesn't understand. In "Contact," it was explained the beach and father imagery were used because she wouldn't be able to comprehend the 'aliens' form of existence.

  • At January 06, 2007 2:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm sorry but no stupid movie scene list can be complete without the near kiss b/w human and Alien in Alien vs. Predator!

  • At January 06, 2007 3:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The one that just down right pissed me off was in G.I. Jane. Demi Moore kicks an experienced male Navy Seal dude's butt with her hands tied behind her back. My daughter thinks I just dont believe in women's abilities.

  • At January 06, 2007 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what about gone in 60 seconds, a good movie until a goddamn car can fly over some police and some busses, and might as well fly out of the city.

  • At January 06, 2007 3:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    gone in 60 seconds. the end scene. that damn car might as well just fly out of the city.

  • At January 06, 2007 3:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The aliens in signs may not know that water kills them, they're home planet doesnt necesseraly(?) have water on it

  • At January 06, 2007 4:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Nice list but you're wrong about "The 13th Warrior". He listens to the Vikings talk for weeks if not months before learning their tongue. The scene where Antonio learns to talk is many, many dinner scenes not one.

    I'm sure you can find something else stupid in the movie though.

  • At January 06, 2007 4:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The central plot device in Signs is the notion that aliens have to carve arrows in wheatfields to find their way to Pittsburg. What, no GPS? Even stupider, however, is 'Kate and Leopold'. a time travel movie which had to be edited to disguise the fact that the character played by Meg Ryan had been sleeping with her grandson, and in which modern day New York is bereft of elevators (their inventor having been transported from the past before he could invent them) but not of elevator shafts (down which one of the characters falls).

  • At January 06, 2007 4:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    end of the harrison ford movie "air force 1"...the members of his staff escape the doomed airplane including his secretary who we see floating down after the most harrowing flight ever- with a big stupid grin on her face-

  • At January 06, 2007 4:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I may be an old fart but any such list that leaves out the scene in the Green Berets where the sun sets in the South China Sea while Big John Wayne and his little Protégé walk the beach in Viet Nam has not seriously watched enough movies

  • At January 06, 2007 4:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sorry you have problem achieving suspension of reality in the theater.

    Maybe you should stop going to movies altogether and spare us all of your pointless fucking whining.

  • At January 06, 2007 5:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't care what anyone says, I though it was pretty funny. XO Mom

  • At January 06, 2007 6:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I wouldn't agree on 40. We have firewalls, Anti-virus etc, but they are effective on Hindsight, i.e. after the virus comes to existence. So the aliens AV may not trap Goldblum's virus. It is true in current scenario too - Mcafee and Norton, are effective after you download patches. Patches are released after the virii come out.

  • At January 06, 2007 6:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wait a minute, just wait a minute. How can this list possibly not include BATTLEFIELD EARTH with John Travolta? Every scene in that movie was dumber and more insane than the scene before it. It's so ridiculous it's almost indescribable. You could pick almost any scene at random as a "dumbest movie moment."

  • At January 06, 2007 7:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Was glad to see the bus scene in Speed made it in - I've been tortured by memories of it ever since sneaking into the theater to see it 12 years ago. Someone make the nightmares stop! I will never break the law again.

  • At January 06, 2007 2:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    COMMON!Where is Magnolia on the damn list?Should have been in first place!Whole movie is boring as s**t and then all of a sudden after almost 3 hours of bulls**t,let´s just end it with a goddamn frograin!!!THANKS!Then again,what to expect?Tom Cruise was in it.

  • At January 06, 2007 4:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Battlefield earth is widely recognized as the dumbest movie ever.

  • At January 06, 2007 6:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Re "The Thirteenth Warrior": If you rewatch the movie, you will find that the Norsemen travelled on horseback across most of northern Europe on their return to their country, a journey of weeks, if not months -- plenty of time for an educated, intelligent Arab to pick up a working knowledge of the language.

  • At January 06, 2007 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It seems as if a lot of your complaints are based on the fact that you just don't understand what's going on in the films.

    I completely agree with the X-Men/Storm comment, though.

    I'd like to see a list like this with a little more thought put into it.

  • At January 07, 2007 12:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I like this list but it also could go to infinity, and not stop on 49 or 149. As I see, title of this is movie moments. So I see no reason to criticize because all that is mentioned in this article is about certain moment in a movie. Not whole movie. Certainly, one thing is for sure, this could have been better. But for me it is funny and OK. Some of you react as if you directed one of these movies.

  • At January 07, 2007 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You certainly got some attention to your list, though I must say, that attention is completely undeserved. As many have noted, either some moments discussed were misinterpreted or simply weren't that dumb contrary to your crap reasoning. How many movies have you actually seen to compile this list? And please don't compile such lists if certain moments clearly are more dumb than others and have them numbered the way you have it. Or better yet, spare the list altogether and write something decent and worthwhile to read.

  • At January 07, 2007 12:03 PM, Anonymous The first one was great tho... said…

    The number ONE should be Ocean's twelve when Tess (Julia Roberts) actually disguised herself in guess who... Julia Roberts!!! WOW, big deal, who was enough idiot to think about something like that? And what now for Ocean's Thirteen, Danny Ocean's crew gonna go hit Hollywood, each member is gonna go kill his actor homologue and then they will all take Brad Pitt, George Cloony, Matt Damon and other's job and produce big budget movie with no story so they can rip off people's money with high priced cinema ticket and then, maybe they will finally be able to repay for Benedict's money? That would be a good sequel to that piece of...

  • At January 10, 2007 11:39 PM, Blogger Reel Fanatic said…

    I hate to be mean, but anyone who defends that scene in Contact (as at least one of your commenters did), is quite simply a dipstick .. It is so craptastic that it would to go to No. 1 on my list, but you have many other worthy selections here to rival it

  • At January 12, 2007 1:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    From Independence Day when they need someone to fly the spaceship:

    Will Smith: Sir, I've seen one of these fly. I believe I can do it.

    According to this logic, I could be a professional airline pilot tomorrow making $250k a year! Guess I'll have to quit my low-paying job today.

  • At January 13, 2007 4:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Some more stupid scenes -

    Independence Day - MASSIVE ships the size of cities exploding and falling to Earth should definitely cause wide-spread mega tremors that would surely cause a great deal of damage to the planet.

    War of the worlds - Aliens died from our micro-organisms yet all the blood they squirted out from our bodies don't kill us? not to mention their own pathogens should definitely have an effect on us as well.

  • At January 14, 2007 6:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you think this is stupid...check out Bollywood movies. You will be surprised. The comments you have made are not even close to dumbest. They have to put such things in movies thats why its called a movie and not real life. I guess you better concentrate on Art films they are more like real.

    We go to movies to see something different than our usual normal life, some sort of imagination or stuff thats unreal and fun.

  • At April 28, 2007 4:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i absolutely hate how so many people are soo hung up on making fun of Titanic. It's a great movie, ok? If you don't like it, it's not worth your time so stop ragging on it! jeez.

  • At July 04, 2007 7:25 PM, Anonymous Rosie said…

    These comments have been invaluable to me as is this whole site. I thank you for your comment.

  • At August 16, 2008 11:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know this list was posted last year but I have just read. Good list, I enjoyed it the first time I read it in Total Film magazine way back in November 2003. I still have it.

  • At January 15, 2009 8:30 PM, Blogger julia said…

    i'm looking for some help here! I saw another day THE dumbest scene ever but i don't remember the name of the movie... and I'm dying to know that!

    It's a movie about a 40-year old guy that tries to hide his fear for commitment by having sex with a lot of women. Original! But it's really funny.

    Dumbest moment: a fluorescent condom fight in a dark room(red and blue condoms just like star wars' warriors) between this guy and the boyfriend of the girl he was in bed with, who got home to apologize.

    Any clue???

  • At March 11, 2009 9:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I agree with a lot of the choices you made, and some of them I don't mind because I can sort of see your argument, but that moment from Pearl Harbor being dumb. Are you out of your mind? You must not of understood what was going on at that point in the movie.

  • At March 24, 2009 12:59 PM, Anonymous nice post said…

    nice post

  • At June 20, 2009 8:26 AM, Blogger Andrew said…

    At 00:19, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    In Green Berets, at the end of the movie John Wayne watched the sun set on the western shore of Viet Nam (the shore is actually on the east coast).

    Or he might have been on the western shore of Vietnam, which is on the west side. Look at a map jackass!

  • At November 25, 2009 6:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    REsponse to Julia:
    The movie u try to find, is "skin deep (1989)"

  • At December 24, 2010 4:12 AM, Anonymous JayVissers said…

    The scene at the end of "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" where the British admiral just stands slack-jawed on the deck of his flagship while the pirates shoot it to bits was idiotic. Even his crew doesn't shoot back or jump overboard, they just stand there and die. Sometimes a film just knees you in the crotch with how stupid they take you for, and this was suck-awfully dumb!

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