Make a fist with your left hand and hold it, knuckles out, in front of your chest. Grab your Punji flute in your right hand and begin to play traditional Indian snake charming music. Rock the Punji side to side as you play. (Fig 1a) Slowly raise the middle finger of your left hand, also rocking side to side, until it is fully extended. (Fig 1b)
The Bad Reception
Make a fist with your right hand and hold it to your right ear. Act as if you are in the midst of a phone call. (Fig 2a) Then pretend as if you have run into an area of weak signal strength and the quality of your phone call is suffering. Perhaps saying, “What? What? I can’t hear you,” will help illustrate your dilemma. Next, say, “Hold on, let me put antenna up.” With your left hand, grab the tip of the middle finger on your right hand and raise it to its full extension. (Fig 2b) Finally, with your middle finger still extended, say to your enemy, “He wants to talk to you” and hand over your "phone." The best part is, there's nobody on the "phone," it's just your middle finger in his retarded face!
The Usual Suspects
Make a fist with your hand and hold it about a foot in front of your face. Raise your pinky, look at if for a second, shake your head and say, “No, no that’s not the guy.” (Fig. 3a) Next, raise your ring finger and repeat the previous steps. (Fig.3b) Do the same for your middle finger. (Fig 3c) Next, raise your index finger and exclaim, (Fig. 3d) “WAIT, go back to that last guy.” Lower your index finger and raise your middle finger again. Say, “I missed it the first time around but that's him. That’s the guy. I’d recognize that Fuck You anywhere.” (Fig. 3e)
Lower both your arms to the side of your body and extend your middle fingers. Slowly, and with a lot of feigned effort, raise both arms as if curling a barbell. (Fig 4a) For added effect shout out some ‘pump me up’ phrases such as, “GET JACKED!,” “That’s it, that’s it, you’re almost there!,” and “HETERO FOR LIFE!”
The Malfunctioning Wolverine
Assume a bellicose posture, as if about to engage in fisticuffs with a super-being. Say something macho from the greater Wolverine vernacular. “It’s payback time, bub,” would be a good choice. (Fig 5a) At this point, bend your arms and then quickly extend them as if you are causing your adamantium claws to shoot forth from your hands. Also at this point, extend your middle fingers. Say, “Oh no, only two of my claws are working!” and hold up your extended middle fingers to your enemy’s face. (Fig 5b)
Extend the index and middle fingers of your right hand and spread them apart. (Fig 6a) Make index say, “I love you.” Middle should reply with, “I love you, let’s get married.” At this point bring your two fingers together so that they are snuggly fitted against each other. (Fig 6b) Say, “Awwww, how nice.” But there's trouble in paradise...Slowly separate them as you ad lib a fight between them until they have returned to their starting positions. (Fig 6c) Finally, make index say, “I’m leaving you, Middle. I’m leaving you and I’m never coming back!” Lower your index finger, leaving your middle finger extended alone. (Fig 6d) Say, “Fuck you,” as if calling after index. Then look into the eyes of your victim and say, “No, fuck YOU!”
"Heeere's Johnny!" - the introduction for U.S. talk-show host Johnny Carson for 30 years - has been ranked the most memorable TV catchphrase in a Top 100 list covering 60 years of American television shows, cartoons, commercials and quotes from news programs. Neil Armstrong's famous "One small step for man ... " comment when stepping on the moon on July 20, 1969, took second place in the list compiled by TV Land, while millionaire businessman-turned-TV star Donald Trump came in third with his curt "You're fired!" ousting of contestants from the TV show "The Apprentice."
List, which features catchphrases and one-liners from 10 commercials and 28 comedies ranging from Alka Seltzer to "Star Trek" and "The Simpsons" will be presented in a five-night TV Land special starting on Monday.
It also includes moments from televised events such as the 1969 moon landing and President John F. Kennedy's 1961 inaugural address. Kennedy's line "Ask not what your country can do for you ..." came in fifth place.
"We have found that television is such a huge part of baby boomers' DNA that it makes sense that so much of America's pop culture jargon comes from TV," said Larry W. Jones, president of TV Land. The list was complied by TV Land producers and editors.
Carson became a household name as host of "The Tonight Show" from 1962 to 1992 and was introduced by sidekick Ed McMahon to the studio audience and the nation with the rallying call "Heeere's Johnny!"
Top 10 greatest TV quotes and catchphrases chosen by TV Land are;
1. Heeere's Johnny! (Ed McMahon, The Tonight Show)
We all love horror movies. And one thing that every horror movie can not be without is main actress that is blond, or can scream, or she would remove her top and show us all her breasts, that are usually larger than average. If you see, all these actresses have some of that.
1. Jamie Lee Curtis (Laurie Strode in "Halloween" 1978)
Ahhhh. Scream Queen of horror movies. Famous for her roles in Halloween movies, The Fog and other scary movies (Prom Night, Terror Train). She showed us one thing that got her this title, her scream. Maybe this movie would not be that famous, without Jamie Lee Curtis. Something interesting - her salary for Halloween was $8,000, for Halloween II was $100,000, and for Halloween: Resurrection was $3,000,000. Also, she appeared as a voice in some Carpenter's movies. For screen nudity she said - "I thought, while they're up and firm [her breasts], why not shoot them once or twice." For cosmetic surgery - "Believe me, none of it works" Her measurements: 34C-22-32.
2. Neve Campbell (Sidney Prescott in "Scream" 1996)
Star of Scream Trilogy, and there we have it. Scream - movie name is scream, she screams, she's not blonde, but she looks good. Even though this was not her first scary movie (it was The Dark - 1994), she got famous after it. Interesting thing from Scream - When Tatum asks the question, "If they make a movie about this, who do you think they'll get to play you?" Dewey says, "I picture you as a young Meg Ryan, myself." She replies, "Thanks, but with my luck, they'll cast Tori Spelling". Spelling wasn't insulted and, in Scream 2, she played Sidney, in the movie within the movie depicting the events of Scream, called "Stab".
3. Jennifer Love Hewitt (Julie James in "I Know What You Did Last Summer" 1997)
One thing this actress has, her body is similar to a body of Jamie Lee Curtis, and she can scream. Really scream. That means she is good for a scary movie. Interesting stuff - Comment about her breasts: "I just accepted them as a great accessory to every outfit". For a movie - "We had this joke on the set of I Know What You Did Last Summer. All the girls wore tiny tops, so we called it I Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer."
4. Jenny Agutter (Nurse Alex Price in "An American Werewolf in London" 1981)
She appeared in American Werewolf, Dark Tower and Child's Play 2. This actress from England is most fondly remembered for a part in American Werewolf in London.
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar (Karen Davis in "The Grudge" 2004)
This actress also appeared in Scream 2, I Know What You Did Last Summer, The Grudge 2, got famous for her role of Buffy in "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". Next movie that I eagerly wait is Alice, based on game American McGee's Alice. Interesting - About horror movies: "I'm always the one who gets killed. And I want it to be really gory. Body parts all over the place. Mangled!"; "Horror films are where women can shine and have a chance to lead. They always save the day in these films." On her kissing scene with Selma Blair in Cruel Intentions - "It was a great kiss. It even had a saliva trail." On posing nude - "Right now I can't picture posing, but I don't believe in saying never... There might be a time when I got pregnant and felt really beautiful and wanted to have a nude picture." Oh, and she is blonde.
6. Linda Hamilton (Vicky in "Children of the Corn" 1984)
Even though she is more famous for her role in The Terminator movies, she appeared in Children of the Corn, and she was great. "Children of the Corn" is an enjoyable horror film with a few creepy scenes and some good shocks. In the original ending of the story Linda Hamilton's character Vicki was killed by the children. She joined "the blue man" on a cross and had her eyes cut out.
7. Halle Berry (Miranda Grey in "Gothika" 2003)
Ahhh. Hale Berry, killer body, and lucky for us that she acted in Gothika. That way she can easily enter this list. I am a great fan of horror movies and I liked "Gothika", even with such a silly end, but it could have been better and better. But who cares for a movie, it is Halle Berry.
8. Jessica Biel (Erin in "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" 2003)
This actress also appeared in Blade: Trinity movie. For her I can have exactly same comment as for Halle Berry, thank you for acting in horror movie. Why? Just look at her. She screams a lot in this movie, but she is sweet as candy. Interesting - Was voted in at #30 in FHM's Sexiest Girls of 2002 poll, American edition, up from #82 the previous year. Ranked #98 on VH1's 100 Hottest Hotties. Ranked #99 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women In The World" (2002). Was voted "Sexiest Woman Alive" by Esquire magazine in 2005. Named #18 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2005 list. Named #21 in FHM's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2005" special supplement. Named #16 in FHM magazine's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006" supplement.
9. Sigourney Weaver (Ripley in "Alien" 1979)
Alien is mainly Sci-Fi movie, but with elements of horror, and therefore Sigourney is on this list. For the awakening from hypersleep segment, Sigourney Weaver had to wear white surgical tape over their nipples so as not to offend certain countries. Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history (#81) in 1995. Ranked #71 in Empire (UK) magazine's "The Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time" list in October 1997. #13 of Sci-Fi's Sexy 50, by Femme Fatales magazine in 1997. Her performance as Ellen Ripley in Aliens is ranked #58 on Premiere Magazine's 100 Greatest Performances of All Time (2006). Her performance as Ellen Ripley in the "Alien" quadrilogy is ranked #8 on Premiere Magazine's 100 Greatest Movie Characters of All Time. Measurements: 34B-24-35
10. Naomi Watts (Rachel Keller in "The Ring" 2002)
This blonde, lovely and charismatic actress, born in England and raised in Australia, played magnificently her role in US version of The Ring. Also appeared in The Ring 2. Was named one of the 50 Most Beautiful People by People Magazine in 2002. Voted the 14th Sexiest Female Movie Star in the Australian Empire Magazine September 2002. Named #99 in FHM magazine's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006" supplement. Was voted #29 on AskMen.com's Most Desirable Women of 2006. Named #2 in the French edition of FHM magazine's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006". Ranked #2 in the UK FHM's most eligible women (2006).
11. Christina Ricci (Ellie in "Cursed" 2005)
Also appeared in Sleepy Hollow, The Gathering. Who would think that she would be this hot, after her role as Wednesday in Tha Eddams Family. Was number 97 on vh1's "100 Greatest Kid Stars" (2005) Quote: "My dream role would probably be a psycho killer, because the whole thing I love about movies is that you get to do things you could never do in real life, and that would be my way of vicariously experiencing being a psycho killer. Also, it's incredibly romantic."
12. Linda Blair (Regan Teresa MacNeil in "The Exorcist" 1973)
Most famous for her role in The Exorcist movies. Also played in Exorcist II, Hell Night, Savage Streets, Grotesque, Witchcraft, The Chilling. Excellent role and all time favorite for a horror movie. Entertainment Weekly voted this the Scariest Movie of all time. Her frightening turn as Regan MacNeil in The Exorcist was ranked #9 on the American Film Institute's villains list of the 100 years of The Greatest Screen Heroes and Villians. Won the Presidential Fitness Award during her early teens. Ranked #36 in VH1's list of the "100 Greatest Kid Stars" Quote: "It was always very strange for me when I was young and would meet someone who geniunely seemed to be afraid of me. They couldn't separate me from the monster I became in a movie. You wouldn't believe how often people ask me to make my head spin around." Measurements: 34C-24-34
13. Gina Philips (Trish Jenner in "Jeepers Creepers" 2001)
This actress also played in Jennifer's Shadow, Ring Around the Rosie and The SickHouse. First thing that everyone noticed in this movie is her. And camera stays on her until the end of the movie.
14. Shannon Elizabeth (Kathy Kriticos in "Thir13en Ghosts" 2001)
Wow! Shannon Elizabeth, wow. Another delicious, sweet candy. Everyone remembered her for her role in American Pie. But for horror movies she also appeared in Cursed. Voted the 8th Sexiest Female Movie Star in the Australian Empire Magazine September 2002. Posed for Playboy magazine [1997 and 1998] and says it's one of her "...biggest regrets!"
15. Heather Langenkamp (Nancy in "A Nightmare on Elm Street" 1984)
One thing can not be forgotten, and that is the scene when she is talking on a phone and Freddy gives her a tongue through it. She also appeared in Shocker.
16. Jennifer Tilly (Tiffany in "Bride of Chucky " 1998)
Can someone be that seductive as Jennifer Tilly. She has a voice that comes that role. Very hot woman. Also appeared in Embrace of the Vampire, Seed of Chucky and The Caretaker. She ranked #23 in Celebrity Sleuth 25 Sexiest Women of 1995. On her curves and her frequent cleavage baring characters; "People are always accusing me of having implants." On Seed of Chucky (2004) - "It's really gruesome, but it's a heartwarming story." Measurements: 36C-24-34
17. Jennifer Lopez (Catherine Deane in "The Cell" 2000)
We all know how big is her butt and good. We all know that she likes to shake it. But I wonder, how did she fit in that outfit in The Cell. One thing is for sure, she is the most expensive woman on the world(1.3 billion dollars insured). She was named one of People magazine's Fifty Most Beautiful People for 1997. Voted #1 in FHM's 100 Sexiest Women list 2001. Is the only woman to have been voted the sexiest woman in the world twice in FHM. Voted the #1 best female body in "Celebrity Bodies" (UK) magazine October 2001. Was ranked 1st of the 100 Sexiest Women by FHM Taiwan (2001). Came in at #5 in FHM's Sexiest Girls of 2002 poll, American edition. She had come in first in the 2000 & 2001 editions of the poll. Voted the 4th Sexiest Female Movie Star in the Australian Empire Magazine September 2002. Ranked #5 in Maxim's Hot 100 List 2003. Ranked #5 on FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2003 list. Ranked #2 in Stuff magazine's "102 Sexiest Women in the World" (2002). Named #31 in FHM's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2005" special supplement. Named #26 in FHM magazine's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006" supplement.
18. Justine Waddell (Mary Heller in "Dracula 2000" 2000)
Plays daughter of Van Helsing, and seems like an actress to watch. And is good looking, that is why she is on this list.
19. Emilie de Ravin (Brenda Carter in "The Hills Have Eyes" 2006)
This star from Lost also played in Carrie and Santa's Slay. She has one thing for horror movies, she is blonde. Named #47 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2005 list. Named #65 on Maxim magazines "Hot 100" list of 2006.
20. Paris Hilton (Paige Edwards in "House of Wax" 2005)
Many people are probably wondering just how Paris Hilton's performance is. To be honest, Hilton acquits herself quite well, and she doesn't portray "herself," as so many people are predicting. Her character is sexy and sweet, and I think her good work will hopefully change a lot of people's opinions about her. Chosen the worst-dressed celebrity in 2003 by fashion critic Mr. Blackwell. In October 2004, she officially had her popular quote, "That's hot", trademarked. Ranked #59 in FHM 100 Sexiest Women 2004. Named #3 in FHM's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2005" special supplement. Named #20 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2005 list. Named #11 on the Maxim magazine Hot 100 of 2006 list. In 2006, she was ranked #56 on Forbes "Top 100 Celebrities". Named #11 in FHM magazine's "100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006" supplement. Quotes: I don't want to be known as the grand-daughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris.; If you have a beautiful face you don't need big fake boobs to get anyone's attention.; People think I'm stupid. But I'm smarter than most people.; The Backstreet Boys were so ten years ago. Whatever.; No matter what a woman looks like, if she's confident, she's sexy.; "One of my heroes is Barbie. She may not do anything, but she always looks great doing it." Measurements: 34B-25-35